(How to) Stop Stewing

I'm MAD! And I don't know how to stop stewing.

Am I alone in struggling with this? Or do you, too?

Something has happened. People or circumstances have pissed you off. You got triggered and you reacted – probably quite rightly – with anger or sadness, worry or some other emotion. After all, you’re human, you have feelings, you’re not a robot.

But now it’s a bit later and you don’t know how to stop stewing. You’re still simmering in a yukky, swampy, smelly soup of your negative, destructive thoughts and emotions.

You know it’s not smart. You know you’re the only one who’s really getting hurt by this now. ‘They’ are long gone… but you are holding on for dear life. One negative thought breeds 10 others, each uglier than the last.

It is SO HARD to let go and get back to feeling good, and the longer you let it go on, the harder it is.


And the more you practice on 3 levels – Mind, Body and Spirit – the more do-able it becomes. And the quicker you can get back onto an even keel of feeling good.

As you know, I love EFT tapping and it is definitely fabulous for changing your negative thinking patterns.

But I also love variety.

So here are 3 other techniques that I use regularly to distract my mind, clear my energy and reconnect.

1. The Gratitude A-Z (Mind)

When: When you are chuntering and realize that you can’t stop your mind from spiralling down into a black hole.
Why: The Law of Attraction means that thoughts attract like thoughts. (So negative thoughts pull in more of the same.) But when you’re tired of feeling bad you need something definite to help you pull it around.
1. Pick any letter of the alphabet. Eg. N
2. Name one (or more) thing(s) beginning with that letter that you are grateful for. E.g: Netflix, nectarines, Northern Lights.
3. When you feel a distinct shift in your energy (an, ‘Oh, yes, I am thankful for that’ feeling) move on to the next letter.
Persevere - some letters may be tricky - but there’s no hurry to move on or just say things which you ‘should’ feel grateful for.
4. You may complete the alphabet, or not. But after a while you’ll have got to a different emotional (& energetic) place. Then you can stop. 😊

2. Shake like a duck (Body)

When: Just like ducks after they’ve had a brief run-in with a fellow duck, you need to shift the energy and get it out of your physical system when you’ve run up against someone or something which has upset you.
Why: Since the 1970s self-help pioneers have been insisting that holding on to negative emotions can create illness and disease, and now science is catching up to them, recognizing that unnecessary stress ain’t good for you.
Shake out your ruffled feathers and shake off the negative energy – from your hands, arms, legs, ankles and feet. Shake out all your joints. Shake your head ‘yes’ and ‘no’. Shake for a whole minute (or even 2).
Then stand very still and feel the energy in your body – maybe it’s tingling or there are waves. Enjoy the rebound sensation. Allow yourself to be tickled and smile. 😊

3. Cast the Burden (Spirit)

When: Life can sometimes be just too much and we can feel that we are not strong enough to handle it alone.
Why: Although it is wonderful to ask for, and accept, help and support from others, recognizing that we are stronger than we know is incredibly empowering (and available 24/7.)
Say out loud, or silently: ‘I hand over this (negative emotion) to my Higher Self within. I can’t do this alone, it’s too hard. I’m allowing Love to bear this so I can go about my day with joy, peace, harmony and happiness.’
Feel the sense of relief and lightening as you release this burden. 😊

There you go. Try them and see which work for you.


What tricks and tips do you have, to get yourself to stop stewing? Let me know in the comments below. 😊

I promise I will try them out and let you know how they were for me! ❤️

Comments 6

  1. Elaine H MacDonald
    November 11, 2019

    My go-to to get out of a stew is usually the physical, so I like the Shake Like a Duck. The very idea makes me laugh, and since it impossible to stew and laugh at the same time… that works. My usual way out of stew – once I reach the point of wanting to get out! – is to do something physical, like dig in the garden or deep-clean the stove. It doesn’t always stop the stewing, but it does use the energy for something productive, which is satisfying.

    1. Jenny Clift
      November 28, 2020

      I love how you transform your negative energy into physical and do something productive Elaine. So great. 😉

  2. Sylvia Nicolas
    November 12, 2019

    I have dream board and when I feel negative I read it to remind myself of what I want in my life. I also have a successful journal, by reading all the good things that are happening in my life, it changes my mood. And at night, before going to bed I write all the things I am grateful for.

    1. Jenny Clift
      November 26, 2019

      I love your resources Sylvia – reminding ourselves often of the good in our lives is so key for building our happiness and success. Thank you so much for sharing. <3

  3. Sarah Bahn
    May 8, 2021

    This was an incredible article. Thank you so much for it. I have spent too much of my life in the stew trap and I hate it. I don’t know how to stop my mind from going there. But it’s true, negative thoughts attract more negative thoughts. THANK YOU! I’m excited to try out these tips.

    1. Jenny Clift
      May 15, 2021

      Hi Sarah,
      I am so glad you enjoyed the article. Yes, the stew trap LOL except it’s Cry Out Loud a lot of the time!
      I still swear by the Gratitude A-Z, it’s got me out of a funk so many times. <3
      Thank you for commenting,

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