“The mind is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master.”
-
Do you find yourself overthinking everything?
To be honest, it's something that so many of us learnt to do.
As we were growing up we saw our parents, and other adults, stressing, hashing over problems, worrying about situations, and even panicking, and we deduced that that was the way to deal with life. And that sailing through life, without overthinking, ruminating and stewing, was not a viable option, definitely unrealistic, perhaps even irresponsible.
But, at the same time, we know it's not particularly helpful and it doesn't feel good... at all!
So what can we do about it? How can we make our mind our servant instead of an obsessive, erratic, terrible master?
Signs You Might Be Overthinking
To begin, here are 10 common signs that you might be overthinking:
- You constantly revisit decisions, wondering if you made the right choice.
- Anything creative you put out into the world you critique and edit to death, abandon, or even delete altogether.
- You listen to yourself as you speak, questioning and judging your own opinions and points of view.
- You go back over conversations and situations, with the classic 'I should have said or done...'
- You replay embarrassing or challenging moments, feeling that shame and fear over and over again.
- You analyze every exchange for hidden meanings and threats.
- You find yourself worrying and stressing, or feeling over-responsible, about things completely out of your control.
- You're awake at 2am overthinking the same issues, wrestling with your problems, trying fruitlessly to find solutions.
- Your mind constantly takes you to worst-case scenarios, playing endless horror movies on a loop.
- You still resent hurts and injustices from years ago, however small, unable to let them go or to find forgiveness or peace within yourself.
Why Overthinking Feels So Exhausting
An inability to stay in the present - always regretting and judging the past, or worrying obsessively about the future - is a key element of all these examples of overthinking.
As most of us know by now, this creates a stressful environment within our body, our nervous system and our energy, and can lead to underlying, chronic stress.
That in turn eats into our motivation and enjoyment of life and affects our mood, our health, our self-esteem and the way we show up in the world.
Not good!
So what can we do about overthinking?
I remember the first time I became aware of the fact that I could choose my thoughts. I was a late-bloomer, for sure, as I think it was sometime in my late twenties!
I realised two things:
1. That not everyone thought the same way as me (duh)!
And
2. That the thoughts that popped into my mind could then be embraced and entertained or shown the door and sent on their way!
Before then I truly believed that I had no control over my thoughts and that I just had to endure them, whether I liked them or not.
Then I heard a metaphor that really stayed with me.
Imagine your thoughts are like an enormous buffet, laid out in front of you in a huge colourful display and variety.
In this vast banquet there are some foods that are delicious and nourishing and healthy, others that are tempting but harmful, and still others that are disgusting and repellent to you.
Most importantly, as it is a buffet, you get to pick and choose.
You don't have to eat everything. You don't have to fill up on something that doesn't feel good or bring you joy. You can even taste something and then decide to continue consuming or to let it go.
Seeing my thoughts in this way helped me to realize that I had options. By becoming aware of what was 'on the menu' at any one time, and then making conscious decisions for or against, really helped me to understand that I had a choice and to use that power for my own good.
That for me was the start of being able to control my thinking and choose my internal dialogue (yes, even at 2am!)
But, as they say, it was 'simple, but not easy' and required tools and techniques to help make it stick.
How to Stop Overthinking
Some of these you have probably already tried. Like meditation and mindfulness. Or perhaps journalling or creative activites. Maybe therapy or self-help books.
I've done all of those (and more!)
And my absolute favourite and constant go-to (for myself and for my clients) has to be EFT Tapping.
If you’d like a simple overview of what EFT is and how it works, I’ve written more about it here: EFT - The Whats, Whens and Hows
How and why does EFT Tapping work so well for overthinking?
In my opinion, and in my experience, there are several key elements that make EFT so helpful to reduce overthinking, or even stop it altogether.
These rest on three pillars:
1. Awareness
2. Feelings
3. Releasing
1. Awareness
A huge part of EFT's effectiveness stems from choosing the words that are most meaningful to us in that given moment.
Where do these words come from?
Well, directly from our thoughts. Whether these are old stories and beliefs from decades ago, or revisiting a conversation from a few moments before.
If it's playing on your mind, especially negatively, then it's fuel for tapping.
You stop to listen. To what you are really saying to yourself : the exact words you choose, the way you say them, the nuances and inflections, even the sounds of other voices from the past.
And then you repeat your words, usually out loud, while you tap.
I have been told many, many times by clients or group participants at the end of tapping rounds: 'Just saying these things out loud with you already makes it feel lighter and more bearable.'
The healing - and therefore change - begins with awareness.
2. Feelings
I think that by now we can agree, that old adage, 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me', is just not true!
And it doesn't matter if it's someone else doing the talking or if it's your own harsh, punishing inner critic.
Either way, it hurts.
Noticing the feelings that come up with our thoughts - both emotional and physical - is the second pillar of EFT Tapping.
We ask:
- What emotions are you feeling right now? (Is it shame/ anger/ sadness/ regret/ anxiety?)
- Where in your body do you feel that?
- How strongly do you feel it? How would you rate it on a scale of 1 to 10?
Once we've pinpointed the feelings we come to the powerful mind-body part.
It's not just woo-woo. There's science behind this!
Tapping on a simple series of nine acupressure points has been scientifically proven (in over three hundred evidence-based studies) to bring down cortisol, the stress hormone, reduce anxiety, and even rewire the brain, taking you out of the fight-or-flight amygdala survival-brain, to the think-rationally-creatively-logically frontal lobes.
You can feel it.
A decrease in anxiety, a peaceful detachment and sense of calm.
As well as an ability to take on new perspectives, solve problems, and become much more creative in your thinking.
As Einstein famously said: "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."
3. Releasing
Bad things happen even to good people! (And I include you in that category.)
But the overthinker tends to blame and shame inwards, and finds it incredibly difficult to forgive and let go. It's a vicious cycle that can be very hard to break.
With EFT Tapping, the words we use in the very first 'set-up phrase' - Even though I ______, I choose to love and accept myself completely - start the powerful process towards self-love, acceptance and forgiveness.
We then go on to honor and acknowledge our thoughts and feelings and then release them. We've learnt our lessons, we have other ways of keeping ourself safe... and now it's time to let them go.
And this release from the weight of overthinking makes for a much lighter, brighter life.
EFT Tapping really helped me to become the master of my thoughts, instead of their slave.
And it can help you too!
I have a special workshop coming up on February 25th, 2026.
How to Stop Overthinking Everything.
We'll be talking, tapping and doing other energy exercises to help you achieve that same freedom from your negative thought reflexes and patterns.
Check it out and grab your spot. I look forward to witnessing the healing and freedom of thinking ahead of you!
